Monday 31 May 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Boris Johnson hails ‘best wife so far’


Boris Johnson wedding photo

Boris Johnson has paid tribute to his latest wife.

The alleged Prime Minister and his anti-John Lewis fiancée, Carrie Symonds (now an absolute Johnson) tied the knot in a private ceremony on Saturday.

“Definitely going to hang onto this one for a while,” beamed Johnson, speaking of Carrie, his third and current wife.

“She’s terrific. Lovely smile, great hair, classy attitude towards interior design… she’s got the lot.

“She’s also given birth to a child of mine, but then who hasn’t?

“Haha, I’m kidding… I think. Anyway, yes, Carrie and I shall remain together until I get bored and start slinging it up someone else.

“So it could be thirty years, could be six months, who knows? That’s the exciting part of being married to BJ here, you’re always on your toes!”

Carrie commented, “I think we’ll be okay as long as I can keep myself looking presentable, and Boris isn’t proximate to anyone who looks a BIT like me, but younger.

“I must try not to get cancer either, that’s obviously a big turnoff of his if history is anything to go by.”

The Cabinet of Arseholes

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: