Boris Johnson never had a coherent wedding plan, blasts Dominic Cummings

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Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds’ wedding was allegedly just made up as they went along, like everything else the prime minister is involved with, according to Dominic Cummings.

Giving evidence to parliament’s Nuptials Select Committee, Dominic Cummings has revealed that the Prime Minister’s ‘small’ and ‘secret’ wedding was actually down to a complete lack of planning on his part.

“For such an important life event, Boris was just completely winging it,” said Mr Cummings in a gruelling seven-minute testimony.

“He refused to commit to a venue, at one point saying that he’d just get Chris Whitty to marry them live on television. The Chief Medical Officer had to explain that he wasn’t a licensed wedding registrar.

“Matt Hancock was in charge of outfits but left it too late to procure any of the required clothing. The wedding dress he purchased from Turkey didn’t have a head hole.

“Carrie ended up wearing one of those white bin liners designed for pedal bins.

“Invitations were also a complete communications shambles. An announcement was put up on the government website but no one was told about it.

“Tourists milling about Westminster Cathedral had to be paid to stay for the ceremony. There were a lot of unnecessary guests.”

Mr Cummings, who turned down his own evening do invite, said the reception was no better organised.

“The rollout of first courses was pretty good,” he said. “But guests were told they would have to wait up to 12 weeks for their second course.

“The whole thing was a disaster – Boris simply isn’t fit to be a husband.”

At this point, the Select Committee ended the session because Cummings wasn’t telling them anything they didn’t already know.