Wednesday 26 May 2021 by Chris Ballard

Cummings reveals government’s pandemic planning whiteboard just a graffiti cock and balls


Cock and balls on whiteboard

Dominic Cummings has shared a picture of the Government’s initial Covid planning session – and it’s just a whiteboard with a massive cock and balls.

As he gave evidence to Parliament on the Government’s handling of the pandemic, Cummings suggested there was never a coherent plan – just some schoolboy graffiti.

“Cummings is a bitter man who’s now trying to discredit the Prime Minister,” said Downing Street Aide Simon Williams.

“Was the product of an emergency planning session a whiteboard containing a cock and balls? Technically, yes, but that doesn’t really reflect the extremely rigorous thought process that Boris and his team went through.

“That initial planning session was actually full of heated debate and several difficult decisions were made.

“Should the cock be ejaculating? Of course it should – the perfect symbol of a bored, locked down population.

“How hairy should the balls be? Extremely – nobody would be getting their sack waxed any time soon.

“There was even a lengthy discussion about whether there should be several smaller cocks or just one big one – obviously the latter given that Boris was the strong Churchillian leader guiding us through all this.

“Cummings will claim that the Government had no idea what it was doing and therefore its Covid response was a massive cock-up.

“Nothing could be further from the truth – this whiteboard proves that the whole thing was intended to be a gigantic cock-up from the very beginning.”

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