Friday 21 May 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Israel agrees to ceasefire after finally running out of stuff to bomb


Benjamin Netanyahu agrees to ceasefire given they have nothing left to bomb

Israel has agreed to a temporary halt to hostilities with Palestine after confirming that it has run out of things to bomb.

Authorities had hoped for another good few days of bombing things, but as Israel has literally bombed everything in Palestine, they decided now was as good a time as any to stop.

“There was a point when there’s just nothing left to bomb, so you may as well agree to a ceasefire,” said Simon Williams, a general in Israel’s bombing division.

“We’ve bombed buildings, open spaces, cafes, shops, the rubble caused by the bombing of shops, craters, graveyards, unexploded bombs, you name it, we’ve bombed it.

“There was a small bush on the side of a square. Took us about three days to land a missile on that, but we did it eventually. You can say what you like about us, but we are really, really good at bombing stuff.”

The ceasefire came into effect just as Israel was set to develop new a new bombing technique.

“We had our top bombing scientists working on a method of bombing air, because there is a lot of air in Palestine so if we could start bombing that then we would have had stuff to bomb forever. Which would be brilliant.”

Whilst the ceasefire appears to be holding, it is expected that it will collapse in a day or so when the Palestinians try to rebuild something, therefore giving the Israelis an unbombed target to try and bomb.

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