James Corden signs new 5-year contract with TV bosses to host absolutely-every-f*cking-thing

author avatar by 3 years ago

James Corden has signed a lucrative new five-year contract with TV bosses in the US, to host every fucking thing on television.

With news emerging that the loveable presenter is set to host the much-anticipated Friends Reunion this week, after recently interviewing Prince Harry, in amongst presenting his Late Show and hosting various awards shows, TV bosses are now celebrating after securing his services to host every fucking thing else on television for the next five years.

TV producer Chuck Williams revealed “That’s right. He’s going to host every single thing on television. All of it.

“You won’t be able to watch a single program without seeing his lovely face.

“Look, everyone loves James Corden, he’s just a national treasure, both in America and the UK, and he pretty much hosts everything anyway, so we’re just going to add a few more shows in case people don’t already see him enough.

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“He’ll take over the Ellen DeGeneres show from next week, and host the Oscars of course, and the Grammys, and present the news every day. Including all the regional affiliates.

“It’s a great deal all round and it means the whole world can relax safe in the knowledge that whenever they switch on their TV, James fucking Corden will be right there grinning back at them.”

Asked where Corden was when he learned about the deal we were told, “right up inside his own arse.”