Shania Twain finally impressed after seeing huge fish in man’s Facebook profile photo

author avatar by 3 years ago

After 24 years, Shania Twain is FINALLY impressed.

The country-pop sensation is famously unimpressed by rocket science, cars and even Brad Pitt, leaving the general public baffled as to just what the hell it takes to impress the woman.

“Turns out it’s a 22lbs carp,” beamed Simon Williams, 45, who now has a date with Twain this Friday.

“It’s funny, because I’m actually a terrible fisherman. I just got lucky one time and of course, I had to make it my profile photo on Facebook.

“When I got a message from Shania Twain, I naturally assumed it was some kind of scam, and I’m not falling for that again. I’ve lost thirty-eight grand and enough is enough.

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“But she didn’t ask for money, she just asked for a video chat and, sure enough, there she was. Turns out she’s a HUGE fan of middle-aged men posing with large fish – in fact, that’s the one thing on earth that she DOES find impressive.

“She’ll lose interest when she finds out I’ll never catch a fish that big again but, in the meantime, we’re going bowling followed by a Nandos.”

Shania Twain’s agent commented, “I can confirm that the one thing Shania is impressed by is a man with a MASSIVE fish.

“She looks forward to her date with Mr Williams, and is relieved to know in advance that he looks nothing like Brad Pitt.

“…quite the opposite, in fact, he’s objectively hideous, but you try getting that woman to see past that massive carp. If you can, then you’re a better man than me.”