Tuesday 18 May 2021 by Pete Redfern

Nigel Farage praised for observing social distancing after addressing just 14 people in a 2,000 seater venue


Nigel Farage event attendees

Nigel Farage has been lauded for his strict adherence to social distancing, after selling out a 2,000+ seater venue and then talking to only fourteen people.

The event held in Pittsburgh last night was one of a string in his current “America’s Comeback” Tour, in which he travels the United States regaling audiences with how he nearly became an MP seven times and once stood in a lift with Donald Trump.

“Well it’s refreshing to see such unwavering devotion to maintaining social distancing, especially here in the US where things have relaxed a lot now,” social scientist Chuck Williams told us.

“I was surprised, to be honest.

“To talk to only fourteen people when he could have filled the room with two thousand cheering fans shows what a humble, sensible man he really is.”

However, it has since emerged that over a thousand pranksters, including, admittedly, at least two writers for this website, ordered free tickets to the event because it was sixty seconds well spent to mock the former UKIP leader.

“Oh yeah, I ordered fifty-six tickets,” said Christopher James, from Bristol.

“I like to think that I was just paying tribute to Nigel’s approach to those EU committees that he was part of back in the day, in that I expressed an interest in the event but had no intention at all of attending, and instead I went to the pub.

“It’s what Nigel would have wanted.”

Nigel Farage was said to be apoplectic after turning up to the event and only seeing 14 people in attendance, although it’s hard to tell if he exceeded his usual daily levels of anger.

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