Monday 17 May 2021 by Mark Molloy

Indoor hospitality finally resumes, just as it gets warm enough to sit outside

drinking in the pub, inside again!

Indoor hospitality has finally resumed in the UK, just as it becomes warm enough to actually sit outside.

With pubs and restaurants welcoming people back inside from today, people across the UK will finally be allowed to enjoy a drink by the fire in a nice cosy pub, just as it gets warm enough to enjoy a drink in the beer garden instead.

Simon Williams, who has sat outside his local for the last five weeks revealed, “Yeah it will be great to finally get back inside the pub, now that the weather is getting warmer.

“Obviously I’ve loved freezing my bollocks off sat outside the pub for the last few weeks enjoying a nice cold pint and pretending I was having a really good time.

“Especially when it was pissing down and we all huddled together under a tiny gazebo squashed together on a bench practically hugging each other to avoid the rain going down the back of our necks.

“So it will be great finally to be able to go back inside again when the sun starts shining outside and we start to actually hit some beer garden weather.”

Asked why he can’t just continue to sit outside when the warmer weather comes, and enjoy a pint in a beer garden we were told, “Glory hunters. That’s why.

“The world and his fucking dog will be out there then, taking up all the bloody tables.”

Perfect T-shirts for the pub in post-lockdown Britain!

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