Thursday 13 May 2021

Compulsory microchipping of cats is clearly a trial run for the rest of us, insists deranged simpleton


conspiracy theorist on microchipping cats

After the government announced plans to make it compulsory to microchip your cat, gullible simpletons have seen the news as confirmation that we will be next in the government’s plans for uninterrupted state surveillance.

Simon Williams, 35, is an avid believer in all sorts of nonsense he reads online, and has been insisting that embedded microchips will be used by the government to track us since 2007.

He told us, “It makes perfect sense to trial the tracking system on cats. They are generally uncooperative, don’t follow orders well, and we rarely know where they are at any point in time – sounds awfully like the electorate to me!

“I mean, yes, I have spent the last year insisting that the covid vaccine includes a microchip that does all of this already, but that’s just what they wanted me to think.  This is the real conspiracy, and it’s happening right in front of us. Well, at the local vet.”

Williams went on to say there are many steps you can take to avoid being monitored by the state, including wearing disguises, and never taking the same route to work on consecutive days.

He added, “I learned all of that on the Internet. Yes, I was using my GPS-enabled smart device that has both a camera and a microphone – why do you ask?”

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