Wednesday 28 April 2021 by Neil Tollfree

“Actually, I said I would rather see bodies pile high than pay for my flat to be renovated” clarifies Boris


Boris Johnson bodies piled high

Prime Minister and national embarrassment Boris Johnson has responded to accusations that he ‘would rather see the bodies pile high’ than order another lockdown.

“Look, I think this is getting out of hand now,” said Mr Johnson.

“So, let me be clear, I did not say that I would rather see bodies pile high than order a lockdown, I said I would rather see bodies pile high than pay for my flat to be renovated, which is perfectly acceptable.

“I mean, you should have seen what they were trying to charge me. Two hundred grand! It’s a ruddy disgrace. Who wouldn’t be perfectly happy to see bodies pile high than pay that? It’s a scandal. It really is.”

Mr Johnson refused to be drawn on exactly how the renovations of his flat were paid for.

“Well, ha, no, look. I think…well, I think that what is important here is the scandal of how builders can take advantage of unsuspecting Prime Ministers and charge them two hundred grand for doing some wallpapering and whatnot.

“So, to reiterate. When I mentioned the ‘bodies piling high’ thing, that had absolutely nothing to do with Covid. Couldn’t give a toss about all that.

“Now, can anyone lend me two hundred grand for… a thing… which is, honestly, of no real concern to anyone?”

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