Tuesday 27 April 2021 by Arabin Patson

Children of Thanos adamant that public does not care about who snapped what finger


Chilren of Thanos

Devoted minions of the genocidal warlord Thanos have been doing the rounds of news shows to try to quell the growing media frenzy about claims that their master had expressed callousness and even enthusiasm for the destruction of half of all life in the universe.

Chitauri general Micharth The Gove, defended his leader’s actions while at the same refusing to give a straight denial of the claims.

“I’m not going to comment on gossip attributed to some Kree insider. The survivors around the universe are not interested in who caused the immediate elimination of a huge number of their friends and family. They want to know what a great job we are doing with the abundance of resources we now have and how many sky beams we can erect over large cities.

“The truth is that Thanos was asked to sort out the universe’s problems and he got on with the job under extraordinary circumstances. Were there some hiccups? Of course. But let me remind you that he lost his own hand in the snap. So people should maybe give him some consideration before chasing him around the galaxy with an axe made by a giant dwarf in a star forge.”

However, many observers feel the scandal will not go away, as observed Simon Williams, a Guardian columnist known for his close links to the Avengers.

“This won’t just disappear because some shrivel-faced alien says it will. If only because this all came to light because of a tiff between Thanos and his former right hand Dominic Nebula.

“Yes, she’s a psychotic mass murderer herself but now I have decided every word she says must be the truth.”

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