Arsenal already relegated from new European Super League

author avatar by 3 years ago

Arsenal have already been relegated from the European Super League because they are Arsenal.

The Super League, which was formed on Sunday night, initially featured the ‘Big Six’ of British football but, with no games having been played and no format having yet been announced, Arsenal have found themselves relegated from the competition for being Arsenal.

“It’s a blow,” said Arsenal fan and committed masochist Simon Williams.

“Particularly as one of the principles of the league is that none of the founding teams can be relegated.

“To go out so early, despite not having played any games and the League not actually having begun yet is a real disappointment.

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“But, hey! That’s Arsenal for you.”

Super League representative Jeremy Bastard was surprised at the Premiership legends’ early exit.

“A team with the pedigree of Arsenal, I would have expected them to go much further in the competition, certainly at least to the start of it.

“Can I have some more money, please.”

However, Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta has a plan to turn around the fortunes of the beleaguered club.

He told us, “My plan? I will buy a brilliant, but slightly over-the-hill superstar and then give him vast wages each week regardless of how he plays. That way, he’s sure to remain a committed and vital member of the team.

“Then all we need to do is form our own breakaway European League that just features Arsenal and we are certain to triumph!”