Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she’s leaving the Windsors to form a European Super Royal Family with elite monarchs from other European countries.
The Queen is seemingly single and ready to mingle – with other monarchs, that is.
A shock announcement from Buckingham Palace stated that Her Majesty is joining forces with the likes of Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II, Norway’s King Harald V and King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands, in order to form a ‘European Super Royal Family.’
The British Head of State explained her decision.
“I took a good look around me at Phil’s funeral and I realised that the rest of my family are all a bit shit,” she said.
“The likes of Charles aren’t really operating at the level it takes to be a top-level monarch. He’ll probably be happier jostling for position with Anne, Edward and whatever that other one’s called.
“To be honest they can all do what the fuck they like – I’m off!”
Royal Family supporter Simon Williams is livid.
“This is a selfish cash-grab on the part of Her Majesty and nothing more,” he said.
“Struggling Royals like Prince Andrew rely on trickle-down from the Queen. It gives him his weekly pocket money and helps him avoid the legal consequences of his actions.
“And what about us fans? I’m not going to able to afford to travel to some funny foreign place to wave at the Queen in an international royal pageant or whatever.
“And what flags will people be using? I certainly won’t be shagging anything other than my beloved Union flag.”
Her Majesty responded to such concerns by saying that she “Didn’t give a fuck,” and that all she cared about was “Shitloads of lovely money”.