Monday 19 April 2021 by Arabin Patson

European Super League is just a cynical money grab to exploit fans, says man happy to pay £95 for a nylon t-shirt


Man buying spurs shirt

Simon Williams, a man who spends £3,000 a year to follow a team that he has imagined a connection to, has taken to social media to lament the creation of a new European Super League and to wonder if the soulless corporations running football are “taking us for mugs”.

He went on, “I’m happy to help the lads out with season tickets that cost more than my car, and to buy the cheap branded clothing that gives me a rash and whose design is changed every four months.

“But now I suspect that a team of hired guns from around the world, owned by a foreign potentate looking to stash his dodgy money, is primarily focused on bringing revenue and not just striving to be the sporting champions of a part of London I don’t live in.“

“I’m so angry that this year I’m considering not traipsing around Europe just to see my team draw and then get baton-charged by riot police in countries where cops think it’s funny to set dogs on overweight Brits for pissing in an alley.”

In response to the growing anger about the new League, Mr William’s favourite team asked Communications Manager Piotr Ralukov to address the issue via zoom from his yacht moored in St Maartens.

“Of course we did not do this for millions in added revenue from TV rights and advertising. We are fully committed to the glory and bragging rights of whatever town this investment is in.

“We know that people like Simon are what make clubs great and that’s why we will commemorate joining this new league with yet another official kit.

“We know he’ll buy it.”

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