Jenny from Gogglebox will take up the leadership of AC-12 when Hastings retires as she is ‘the only person who stands a chance of unravelling all of this’, according to reports today.
Jenny, who watches every episode with laser-like intensity and keeps extensive notes is understood to be Britain’s foremost authority on the OCG which has plagued the Central police service for the last decade.
Whilst the move is unexpected, insiders suggest that the move will be positive as the show will finally have someone that nobody at all reckons is probably corrupt.
“Ted Hastings says that all he cares about is bent coppers, but he’s only caught about five of them in the last decade,” said Police supremo Philip Osbourne.
“Whilst Jenny has an entire notebook full of their names and connections between them.
“And every time a new member of AC-12 walks through the door Jenny is immediately suspicious, unlike Hastings who gives them all the passwords and a gun and tells them to get on with it.
“If Jenny doesn’t sort all this out we’ll have no choice but to request the transfer of Danny Butterman and Nick Angel from Sandford, as they’ve got form in getting medieval on corrupt coppers.”