Global supply of Hovis threatened as Yorkshire canal blocked

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The global economy faces losses of up to seventy-five pence after a major waterway in Yorkshire was blocked overnight, according to reports.

Walkers along the Leeds and Liverpool canal discovered the catastrophe this morning, after one of the largest ships on the canal became wedged between the banks.

Trade experts are scrambling to understand the ramifications of the blockage, with some suggesting that supplies of Yorkshire Tea might be disrupted by upwards of five minutes, and a further danger that Sam Smiths brewery might open a bit late today.

“Clearly this is a disaster for not just the Yorkshire Economy, but to global supply chains.

“With Hovis, Tetley Tea and black pudding being central to a general feeling of worldwide wellbeing and happiness, the loss to productivity could be incalculable,” said Simon Williams of the Kettering Institute of International Trade and development.

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“We can only pray that some fat lad with a stick manages to push the boat free before supplies of a refreshing brew start to run out.”