William and Harry unite to pay tribute to Prince Philip, before bare-knuckle ‘straightener’ in palace gardens

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Princes William and Harry have united today to pay tribute to their late grandfather the Duke of Edinburgh, before proceeding to a bare-knuckle ‘straightener’ in the gardens of the palace to sort out their differences.

With the funeral of Prince Philip set to take place this Saturday, emotional tributes to the Duke made by both princes yesterday are due to be followed by a sustained and violent ‘straightener’ over three rounds at Kensington Palace later today.

Officiating the fight, gypsy Jack Staples told us, “We’ll have no fecking about here, it’s a straight-up bare-knuckle fistfight to see who comes out on top.

“My money is on William, to be honest. Harry acts all hard and goes on about being in the army, and he’s got a beard, but William is a fucking lunatic in the ring when he gets going.

“I’ve seen him cave a mans face in for slagging off his wife, and he’s dirty too, he’ll rip your fucking ear off if he thinks he can get away with it.

“So I’ll be watching closely and trying to keep them both in check.”

Asked if anyone will be watching the fight we were told, “Charles and the kids will be filming it all on their phones for YouTube, so you can probably see it there later.”