Monday 12 April 2021 by Davywavy

Montagues and Capulets resume ancient feud as restrictions on two households mingling lifted.


montagues and capulets

Two households, both alike in dignity, are allowed to mingle in the pursuit of their ancient grudge from today.

The Montagues and Capulets have barely gone out for months in order to avoid a plague on both their houses, although at least one was fined for walking a family pet too far despite claiming it was in fact the dog of the house of Montague which moved him.

However, as restrictions ease the Prince of Verona has warned that any engaging in violence will be banished to Mantua as soon as a reciprocal travel agreement on vaccination passports can be reached.

“Remember to follow hands, face, space,” Friar Lawrence told us.

“Hands: It is vital that people continue to ensure their hands are sanitised, both to prevent the spread of the virus and to ensure that civil blood does not make civil hands unclean.

“Face: You should not bite your thumb at anyone as that might move the virus from your hands to mucus membranes where it can reproduce more easily, and it also might result in someone stabbing you.

“Space: Keeping six feet apart will make sure nobody can either infect or stab you, as we do not wish to find you a grave man upon the morrow.”

Representatives of both houses are understood to be very pleased that none of the younger members of their families had been mingling without permission over the last few months, and were confident that a combination of high balconies and the family nurse had kept them apart so there shouldn’t be any trouble from that direction.

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