Freezer dumped in a lay-by either fly tipping or new Line Of Duty subplot

author avatar by 2 years ago

Nobody is sure whether a fridge-freezer that has appeared by a busy A-road has been fly-tipped of it it’s an unpleasant new Line of Duty subplot.

The electrical unit, which was dumped by either some chavvy wankers who are too lazy to take it to the tip or an OCG as part of a plot of get DNA evidence into the hands of police, has thus far sat for more than three days as nobody wants to have to deal with it either way.

“Look, it’s either got some hellish half-rotten takeaways moldering in the bottom, or the remains of a victim of a complex plot involving half the police, a golf club and some corrupt property dealers, and I’m not really up for having to open it and find out,” said community support officer Simon Williams.

“Either way, the worst estate you’ve ever seen in your life is involved somehow,” he added.

“And I don’t want to have to go there and hand out a statutory penalty or get involved in an undercover operation, or both, on my weekend, thanks.

“I’m going to leave it to the experts, who are either bin men or Anti-Corruption officers – both of whom are paid considerably more than me.”