Sunday 11 April 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘Do we get a day off work for it though?’ asks nation


Do we get a day off or not?

Millions of grieving Britons have awoken today still mourning the shit out of the death of Prince Philip and asking, ‘do we get any time off work though?’.

With details of the funeral of the monarch released last night, workers across the country have been looking at ways in which they can pay their respects to the Prince, ideally on a day when they should be working.

Simon Williams from Surrey asked, “So do we not get a day off then if it’s on a Saturday?

“Mate, I’m gutted about it all so I could do with a day off to do some serious mourning, over a nice game of golf with the lads.

“Obviously it’s a tough time for the whole nation, and we need to have time to recover.

“That’s why I think a couple of days off next week, once the weather gets a bit better will help us all to get over it, with a few beers in a beer garden now that they are all open again.

“I mean it’s a bloody monarch, isn’t it? We’ve got pay our respects, with an all-day golf and beer session, and with a day to recover afterwards.”

Asked if they can not just pay their respects by watching the funeral on television next Saturday, we were told “Bollocks, no. I want a day off.”

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