Friday 9 April 2021 by Lucas Wilde

DMX and Prince Philip make awkward small talk at pearly gates


Prince Philip and DMX making small talk

Prince Philip and DMX are attempting to make polite small talk on the way into heaven.

In a bizarre coincidence, rap legend DMX, responsible for hits such as “X Gon Give it to ya” and “Where the Hood at?” has gone to heaven at the same time as the famously reserved patriarch of the Royal Family.

“Sup?” asked the rap superstar.

“Oh! Er…hello” replied the late Duke of Edinburgh.

“This the afterlife?” continued DMX, looking around. “Hope they have dogs.”

“Oh you like dogs? That’s er…that’s marvellous,” replied Prince Philip, “we used to have Corgis you know, Liz and I. Did…ah…did you have dogs?”

“Yeah, pitbulls though, gotta be a pitbull. Liz your girl?” enquired DMX.

“…I suppose she was, yes, Liz was my girl,” chuckled the Duke, “so, er, what did you do on Earth?”

“I was a musician, a rap artist. You?”

“OH! Oh my, that’s very different. Well, I was the Duke of Edinburgh and I was married to the Queen of England.”

“So you’re the king?”

“No, I…no, it’s complicated, but no. But I had a good time.”

“That’s the idea I guess,” said DMX as the two men laughed politely and looked around for someone to bring the conversation to a socially acceptable end.

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