Thursday 8 April 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Woman concerned she isn’t able to spend enough time each day really hating Boris Johnson


Woman doesn't have enough time to hate Boris Johnson

A woman has explained her concern that she simply doesn’t have enough spare time in the day to really do justice to hating Boris Johnson.

The woman, Eleanor Gay from Chelmsford, confessed that the combination of home-schooling and working from home has left her unable to spend as much time each day hating Boris Johnson as she should be doing.

“It’s difficult,” she said.

“Yesterday, I spent less than an hour hating Boris Johnson. I know that’s not nearly enough. Not in 2021. But what can I do? Work, the kids – it just eats up your day.

“Every day I think – ‘right, today, it’s going to be different, I’m going to spend a good two hours really hating Boris Johnson’ – but I never seem to have the time.”

Simon Williams is a time-management expert.

“The key is planning,” he said.

“It’s really important that you spend enough time each day hating Boris Johnson, or after a while you just have an uncontrolled breakdown of incoherent fury.

“So, plan your day and make sure that you have at least three thirty-minute slots which are given over entirely to hating Boris Johnson.

“But be smart. Set the kids a thirty-minute task, and while they’re doing that, you can hate Boris Johnson. Pop a Cottage Pie in the oven, and while that’s cooking, you can hate Boris Johnson.”

Ms Gay resolved to take Mr Williams’ advice, but still had concerns.

“I can do that, but when am I going to find time to hate Priti Patel? Michael Gove? Gavin Fucking Williamson.

“They’re just exhausting.”

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