Thursday 8 April 2021 by Mark Molloy

Mother Nature still deciding what hilarious weather to throw at us when beer gardens finally reopen next week


Pub Gardens snow

Mother nature has been spotted laughing her tits off yet again today whilst trying to decide what type of horrendously bad weather to throw at the nation next week when beer gardens finally reopen in England.

As restrictions continue to gradually ease in the UK, and millions of people begin excitedly looking forward to a drink in a beer garden or terrace, notorious prankster Mother Nature has been busy plotting hilarious ways she can fuck the whole thing up for everyone with an array of unseasonably shite weather.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, it’s just so funny watching you all get excited,” she said.

“Everyone has been waiting for beer gardens and terraces to open for weeks and weeks to finally enjoy a drink at the pub with their friends.

“And with thousands of bookings made by excited customers across the country providing a much-needed lifeline for struggling bars and restaurants, there’s only one way I think I can go with the weather.

“Yep, you guessed it. Wind and heavy rain. Though snow wouldn’t be completely unheard of in April.

“It’s a no brainer really, and let’s face it I’ve got form, but honestly I just cannot help it. I really can’t stop myself it’s too bleeding funny.

“I know what you’re thinking, she’s a genius this one, and a funny one at that.”

Asked if she’ll at least provide us with a nice summer to make up for a miserable year she revealed, “Yes, it will be glorious… honest… he he.”

I’m an outdoors guy (take me to the nearest beer garden) – get the T-shirt HERE!

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