Wednesday 7 April 2021 by Mark Molloy

Wetherspoons reveals their only ‘passport’ requirement will be a crisp £10 note when pubs reopen


Wertherspoons to reopen

Wetherspoons has revealed today that so-called vaccine passport requirements to enter their establishments will be limited to a nice crisp £10 note and a toothless grin when pubs finally reopen next week.

With the debate still raging around the potential use of ‘Covid certification’ to be able to enter certain establishments as society looks to reopen, Wetherspoons boss Tim Martin has outlined strict requirements which will be needed in order to enter one of his pubs when restrictions are eased next week.

“A nice crisp £10 note is all you will need to come in,” he revealed.

“And of course a willingness to spend the whole day in there pissing away your money on substandard beer and all-day breakfasts whilst walking around with your feet stuck to the carpet.

“Obviously we understand that Covid is a very dangerous disease, and the safety of our customers and staff is very important to us, but not as important as me making shit loads of money as fast as possible.

“That’s why as soon as the pubs reopen next week, and from that moment onwards, all you will need to enter a Wetherspoons pub, is some hard-earned cash, a cheeky grin and the rest of the day off to throw it all away on cheap beer and fruit machines.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: