Wednesday 7 April 2021 by Arabin Patson

Boris is a stupid wanker with shit hair, writes lazy satirist while claiming he’s ‘going meta’


Satire writer good with insults

Simon Williams, a contributor to satirical websites and malodorous problem drinker, has decided to hide his lack of creativity by pretending his cheap barbs about controversial public figures are all part of a sophisticated 3rd-degree joke that only the savvy reader is a party to.

He explained, “Frankly it’s exhausting having to check the news and try to think of some original and humourous take about it.

“So I decided to just write something that snags people in with a childish slur but then creates a bit of a headfuck for the reader as it’s hard to discern if they are in on the joke, or part of it.

“You need an insulting headline towards some politico in the hope you can get their supporters to comment on the piece in a futile hope to defend their man. It’s utterly pointless, but the brouhaha becomes some bollocks social media companies call ‘engagement’. And that turns out to be much more lucrative than piercing social commentary that uses humour to highlight absurdities created by systemic societal dysfunctions.”

“Also, by letting readers think they read the article on a higher level, you can get them to forget that your jibes have less originality and wit than the banter in a police canteen. And that there’s nothing less powerful than insults aimed at politicians who know exactly what they are doing when they act like idiots and are happy to let people mock them as long as they end up as the only memorable name on a ballot.

“Yes, this would be an interesting piece for the types who started to read Baudrillard after watching The Matrix.

“But for the rest of us… fancy an early bevvie?”

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