Tuesday 30 March 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Leaked footage of Boris defecating on picture of Queen not expected to affect his popularity


Boris Johnson defacating on queen portrait

The shocking footage released last night of Prime Minister defecating on a picture of the Queen as he laughs and calls her an ‘old cow’ is not expected to hurt him in the polls.

He then holds up the ruined picture of the Queen to the camera and says ‘shitty, shitty Queen. What a shitty Queen’.

The footage then shows him speaking Russian to someone off-screen and handing them a number of plans and diagrams.

Finally, he sets fire to the Union Jack and sings the Russian National Anthem as he has sex with what appears to be a duck or mallard.

The Tory party have dismissed the film, saying that its focus is on the pandemic and ensuring Brexit continues to be a world-beating success.

On the morning that the dramatic and shocking footage was released, the BBC news has chosen to lead on the story of a cat who got stuck in a hole.

It is thought that if Theresa May had been caught on film doing any one of these things, she would have been summarily shot within minutes of the footage appearing.

However, it seems unlikely that there will be any effect on Boris Johnson’s popularity because he was once quite funny on Have I Got News For You.

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