Anti-masker heading into surgery insists doctors free their faces and ‘remove their muzzles’

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Ardent anti-mask campaigner Simon Williams has demanded the surgeon carrying out his thoracic surgery ‘free his face’ and stop being a sheeple today.

Williams has had his surgery postponed twice in the last few months, but as he was wheeled towards the operating theatre this morning he told his surgical team to stop being frightened by the mainstream media.

“There’s no evidence that masks work!” insisted Simon who has spent several hours watching YouTube clips about the efficacy of various personal protective equipment.

“They’re just muzzles that the government forces you to wear for reasons I can’t quite articulate, and they actually don’t stop you from catching diseases at all.

“I read meme yesterday that masks actually make you sicker, and starve your brain of oxygen, so I definitely don’t want my surgeon collapsing halfway through my bypass – so ditch the mask!”

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The surgeon in charge of William’s procedure, Mr William Simons, reluctantly agreed with Simon’s request and was pleased to report at the end of the procedure that he felt fine and he doubted sneezing into the patient’s chest cavity would have any serious long-term effects.

“Well, not on me, anyway!” he laughed.