Thursday 25 March 2021

Boris Johnson denies government is hiding behind nationalistic symbolism after unveiling his new outfit for PMQs

Boris Johnson flag suit

Boris Johnson has denied his government is hiding behind a huge drive for nationalistic symbolism, insisting his new outfit for PMQs was chosen purely because it compliments his complexion.

Johnson, who unveiled the new outfit to journalists outside Downing Street, insisted his new attire was in no way meant as a distraction from the ongoing assessment of his performance over the last year.

He told reporters, “Not at all, we’re very proud of what we’ve achieved in the last year, especially the vaccine rollout which the more cynical among you have pointed out is the only thing we haven’t completely fucked up.

“I find it very distasteful that I would even consider using our great flag for such nefarious purposes. For shame!

“Anyway, we don’t need to use it for that – everyone knows the electorate always remembers the most recent thing, they’re a bit like goldfish in that respect, so a good vaccine rollout will make everyone think we’ve done a great job all year.  Yes, I suppose we did get a bit lucky in that respect.”

He then went on to defend his latest sartorial choices.

“This suit reflects who I am, and what we stand for as a government.  I’m sure you will all take note that my right honourable friend sat opposite will be asking questions of your patriotic government without a single flag anywhere upon his person. Not one. Anywhere.

“That’s because he quite clearly hates this country and everything it stands for, in case you weren’t following my line of thinking.

“You can write that down if you want.”

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