Wednesday 24 March 2021

United States ‘getting back to normal’ as mass shootings return to pre-lockdown levels


America getting back to normal

Normal life is resuming in the United States, as the number of mass shootings is returning to levels not seen since last year’s lockdowns began.

With two high-profile mass shootings in the last week alone, citizens across the United States are today sighing with relief that the covid nightmare could finally be behind them.

Colorado resident Chuck Williams told us, “500,000 unnecessary covid deaths in the last year has taken its toll on us as a nation, so it’s a relief to learn we’re getting back to the 40,000 unnecessary gun deaths we normally see every year.

“Mass shootings are almost impossible when everyone is locked up at home, it’s not like they can go door to door killing everyone, so I think seeing so many mass shootings on the news again is a sign we’re finally getting back to normal.  People are going out, seeing each other, being slaughtered, just like the olden days of early 2020.”

Meanwhile, the NRA has welcomed the uptick in mass shootings, insisting once again that it is every American’s right to be mowed down by a mentally ill nutjob wielding an assault rifle they picked up in the supermarket.

Spokesperson Wayne LaPierre said, “As I look at the report of another mass shooting where someone used an AR-15 – a gun which we have fought tooth and nail to ensure is available as easily as buying an ice-cream – I can tell you my heart swells with pride.

“Finally, America is great again.”

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