Wednesday 24 March 2021 by Davywavy

Man to recreate experience of cancelled Rammstein concert at home by setting fire to his living room


Man setting fire to his living room

Local Heavy Metal fan Simon Williams is to recreate the experience of being at a Rammstein concert at home by setting fire to his living room whilst shouting as loudly as possible, it has emerged.

Rammstein’s announcement of a further 12-month delay to their world tour has led to many fans taking matters into their own hands, with several houses already ablaze and two hospitalised after using a gas lighter in a manner not recommended by the manufacturers.

“We had some fireworks left over from bonfire night, so I’ll pretend to be Till Lindeman by filling my girlfriend’s vibrator with gunpowder and hitting the piano with it until it explodes,” Simon told us.

“I’m thinking I can simulate the experience of watching Feuer Frei if I rev the car as loudly as possible whilst holding a can of polish in my mouth and setting fire to the jet with a fag lighter.

“And I’m sure the neighbours will realise what happened to their shed was in a good cause and let me pay off the damage in instalments.”

A spokesman for the emergency services said they understand the frustration, but the fire brigade can only cut so many people out of smouldering bondage gear so they’d be grateful if fans toned it down a bit.

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