Wednesday 24 March 2021 by Neil Tollfree

2021 Grammy Awards Ceremony enters tenth day – and here is today’s schedule


Grammy Awards small

Although some of the more prestigious Grammy Awards – Best Mongolian Throat Singing Cover Album, Best Calypso Interpretation of ‘This Land is Your Land,’ Best Beyonce Album – have already been presented, there are still plenty more to come.

Day 10’s Award presentation schedule is as follows.

Best Quietly Humming Paula Abdul’s ‘Straight Up’ While Walking to the Store

Presented by Milli from Milli Vanilli

Could see recognition here for the innovative use of “Badum-dum dum” from New Jersey’s Mrs Kelly Reynolds as she hummed ‘Straight Up’ while walking to the store in October to pick up some bread and a newspaper.

Best Fridge Door Left Ajar Alert Tone

Presented by the bass player from The Spin Doctors

Should be a straight-up battle between Bosch for their innovative ‘Beep’ sound and Smeg for their much more traditional ‘Beep’ sound.

Best Television Continuity Announcement

Presented by Young Einstein’s Yahoo Serious

All eyes are on NBC’s hot young talent Emma Nelson for her exciting reading of “And coming up later on NBC…”

Best Underarm Fart-Noise

Presented by Gordon Ramsey’s Brother-in-Law

A tough category this year, with nine young boys all worthy nominees who have each produced truly hilarious underarm fart-noises over the past twelve months.

Best Pronunciation of ‘Disambiguation’

Presented by the Hungarian Minister for Agriculture

Expected to go to Ralph Johns from Cleveland for the highly acclaimed pronunciation of ‘disambiguation’ he made during an online PowerPoint presentation on corporate clarity.

Best Performance from a Wren or Warbler

Presented by a Woman who’s seen Aerosmith play live 36 times

A wide-open category this year following the retirement of three-time Grammy winner Kevin the Wren.

Best Pre-Flight Safety Demonstration

Presented by Haddaway

Covid has seen a reduction in flying over the past year so this category is unlikely to produce any surprises. Grammy favourite Mason Johns from Delta should have no problems here.

Best 90s Dance Anthem As Heard Through The Wall Of The Recently Divorced Woman From The Apartment Next Door

Presented by a man who looks quite like Drake

“Groove is in the Heart” is a perennial favourite in this category for a good reason. Expect to see Dee-Lite pick the award up once again.

Best Country or alt-Country Song released in February 2008

Presented by leading economist Andrei Shleifer

Brad Paisley’s classic “Letter to Me” likely to win again for the twelfth straight year.

Best Noise Made After Stubbing Toe

Presented by Lady Gaga’s dog

Jerry Bascavitz made an incredible sound after stubbing his toe on an antique Cellaret, but is still likely to be beaten out by the 100 decibel howl made by Belinda Marshall in Austin when she stubbed her toe on a closing door and lifted up her toenail a little.

Best Song Called “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something

Presented by some guy

Once again, this looks like being an easy category for Deep Blue Something who are expected to win for their 1995 hit “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

Best Child’s Imitation of a Tyrannosaurus Rex Roar

Presented by Piers fucking Morgan

No problems here for little Joey Garcia, whose acclaimed performance of a Tyrannosaurus Rex at a family barbeque last August was so convincing it saw two elderly relations soil themselves.

With 3122 awards to present, the 2021 Grammy Award Ceremony is set to continue for another 22 days and some of the big upcoming awards to look forward to include Best Train Whistle, Best Stomach Rumble and Best Presentation of a Grammy Award.

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