Misleading parliament is totally unacceptable – unless it’s in Westminster, insist Tories

author avatar by 2 years ago

Conservative politicians have confirmed that anyone found to have breached the ministerial code by misleading parliament should be forced to resign – unless the breach is by a Tory and the parliament in question is in Westminster, in which case it’s completely fine.

Following news that Nicola Sturgeon has been found to have misled a Holyrood committee, Scottish Conservative leader Douglas Ross said that the First Minister should resign immediately.

“Nicola Sturgeon must go now,” Ross told the BBC.

“Misleading parliament is a clear and deliberate attempt to undermine democracy for which there is no alternative but to resign.

“And to all those who are accusing me of blatant hypocrisy and naked political opportunism I simply stick my fingers in my ears and say ‘LALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has also called for Ms Sturgeon to go.

“Misleading the Scottish parliament is unacceptable,” said Johnson.

“Nicola Sturgeon has lied to the Queen, lied to journalists, lied to the public, broken international law, conspired to have journalists beaten up, awarded eye-watering contracts to her friends, given public money to an IT advisor who she happened to be shagging and totally cocked-up the handling of the pandemic resulting in over 120k deaths.

“Oh, no, hang on, that’s me isn’t it?”

Meanwhile, stand-in Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson told parliament that Sturgeon should resign now rather than wait to be replaced as First Minster by Douglas Ross after the election in May. The session then had to be suspended for 30-minutes to allow MSPs time to try and stop laughing.