Thursday 18 March 2021

Man has almost finished all the toilet rolls he panic-bought exactly a year ago


Man finally finished toilet rolls he panic-bought last year

A man who a year ago today panic bought an entire supermarket shelf of toilet rolls is today beginning the last of his stockpile.

Derek Williams, 60, was one of the very first people to begin panic-buying toilet rolls last year, and as such, found himself with a sizeable stash by the middle of March when many consumers were struggling to get hold of even a single roll.

“I felt a bit sorry for them,” said Derek, “but not enough to give them some of mine.  Toilet roll supply is subject to the law of the jungle, like everything else in that aisle of the supermarket.

“That’s why I don’t feel bad when I have to knock the odd pensioner out of the way to get what I need. The lion doesn’t have sympathy for he antelope.

“Yes, I just compared myself to a Lion.”

When it was pointed out that Derek didn’t really need a years’ supply of toilet roll, and that the subsequence weeks proved his actions to be rather foolish, he accused us of being ‘Captain Hindsight’.

“Yes, finding room for a couple of hundred toilet rolls isn’t particularly easy when you live in a modest 2-bed bungalow, but by the autumn we were able to see the television again, which was nice.

“Anyway, they are nearly all gone now, so who is the real idiot? The guy who had to keep buying toilet rolls again every couple of weeks for a whole year, or the guy who could easily pick another one out of the wardrobe from where his clothes used to be, hmmm?”

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