America is beginning to wonder precisely when a good guy with a gun is actually going to prevent a mass shooting.
The good guy with a gun has been cited as an effective deterrent against firearm homicide but has thus far failed to save any of the over 300,000 Americans killed by firearms since 2000.
With yet another massacre leaving eight dead on Tuesday across multiple massage parlours in Atlanta, some Americans have started to wonder where the heck this good guy actually is – and some lone, dissenting voices have begun to question if he even exists.
However, NRA spokesman Simon-Bob Williams insisted the strategy was sound.
“If fewer people were armed we’d actually have more mass shootings, not less,” he told us with his eyes pointing in different directions.
“That’s how logic works in these here parts, boy, and don’t you forget it.
“We armed teachers, airline passengers, the police, bus drivers, passers-by and deranged rednecks in a bid to boost safety.
“We just forget to include massage therapists, strip mall patrons and the people who go to massage parlours. We’ll be encouraging Congress to pass mandatory ‘massage parlour carry’ laws to ensure this never happens again.”