People of Clapham protected from terrifying small group of mourners holding vigil

author avatar by 3 years ago

The people of Clapham were breathing a sigh of relief after police moved quickly to arrest a small group of mourners holding a vigil for a murdered woman.

The mourners began gathering in the early hours of the evening, and without police intervention, looked set to quietly mourn Sarah Everard and go home.

Happily, a huge mob of heavy-handed officers were on hand to prevent that small act of memorial taking police.

“I was really worried,” said a witness who wished to remain anonymous.

“They were all just quietly standing and sitting, some of them even lit candles. It was frightening. Christ knows what could have happened next. I’ve got kids.”

Another onlooker was concerned about Covid.

“They pretty much all had had masks on, and outdoor gatherings are fairly low risk,” they said.

“But what if they’d all gone on somewhere and then gone indoors and then when they were indoors, they took their masks off and coughed in each other’s faces? That could have been incredibly dangerous.

“I’m really glad the police were there to manhandle and arrest them. It’s the only way any of us can be kept safe from peaceful mourners like that.”

A spokesperson for the police moved quickly to reassure the public.

They told us, “We know how scary it can be to see a small group of people mourning a murdered woman and so we will always move quickly to stop anything like that happening.”

The spokesperson also took the opportunity to comment on crimes of violence against women.

“Yes, we’ll definitely get round to doing something about that. It’s on the list. If it’s not on the list then we’ll definitely be putting it on the list at some point.