Friday 12 March 2021

Mash Report to be replaced with Love Thy Neighbour reboot starring Michael Gove in blackface


Mash Report cancelled by BBC

The BBC has announced that as part of the entirely not-fatuous ‘war-on-woke,’ it will be replacing the disgraceful neo-Marxist, anti-Empire Mash Report with an entirely more wholesome reboot of Love Thy Neighbour, starring Michael Gove in blackface and Laurence fucking Fox.

Laurence fucking Fox will play a white man who is horrified to discover that a black man, played by Michael Gove in blackface, has moved in next door due to the local council dictating that all proud, white British people need to become more ethnic.

Wacky scrapes are never far away as Laurence fucking Fox simply can’t understand what Michael Gove in blackface is saying because of his hilarious backwards, primitive accent.

However, because Laurence fucking Fox is a superior white man, Michael Gove in blackface feels a natural, innate respect for him and despite the culture and language barrier, Laurence fucking Fox is able to teach Michael Gove in blackface valuable and civilising lessons about how living in Britain is brilliant, racism is excellent and the sooner we reclaim the Empire, the better for all concerned.

There will also be a hilarious ‘woke’ social worker, who will spend each episode interfering and meddling and trying to get Laurence fucking Fox to be less of a racist shithead, but is ultimately thwarted by decent British bigots who aren’t racist, but just think that political correctness has gone too far.

Each episode will then end with the entire cast singing Land of Hope and Glory and burning an effigy of Nish Kumar.

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