Friday 12 March 2021

Dog takes huge pride in successfully scaring away postman for 1,743rd time in a row


Dog scares postman away

Local dog Buster Williams is today celebrating his ongoing run of glorious victories against the fearful postman who is no match for his bravery.

Williams, a five-year-old French bulldog, leaps into action whenever the postman attempts to take control of the house, and once again saw him away in just a few seconds this morning, almost a personal record.

Buster told us, “He never makes it further than the door, probably because he knows what’s good for him.

“I’ll give him his due, he’s got some balls, because he keeps coming back. Sure, he always gets sent away again with his tail between his legs, well, he would be if he had one, but that doesn’t stop him from returning.

“No postman will ever break into this house, not while I’m alive and hold breath in my lungs. If it wasn’t for me, this house would have been under the control of the postman years ago.

“He can try all his little tricks, I’m too wise for them. I’ll be honest, the gifts he keeps putting through the door for me haven’t impressed me whatsoever – they all, and I mean all, taste like shit.

“And this is coming from someone who has actually eaten shit.”

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