Thursday 11 March 2021 by Mark Molloy

Government promises urgent review of ‘abhorrent’ conversion therapy practise, in a few months, maybe


Boris pledges action on conversion therapy

The government has revealed today that it will be urgently reviewing what the Prime Minister called the ‘abhorrent’ practice of conversion therapy in the UK, definitely in the next few weeks, or maybe a year or so.

With news emerging today of the resignation of two members of the government’s LGBT advisory panel in protest at the government’s handling of the situation, senior ministers have moved quickly to reassure the LGBT+ community that action will be taken to ban the practice, you know, whenever.

A spokesperson for the government revealed, “This is at the top of our agenda let me tell you that.

“That’s why we have blatantly ignored the issue and pushed it to one side for months and months now in the hope that all these shouty transgays or whatever you call them will just go away and leave us alone.

“To say that we do not understand that LGBT+ community and the issues faced by the community every day, or the pain and suffering that this disgraceful conversion therapy practice creates is downright unfair, but probably right, we’ll give you that.

“That’s why we will be urgently reviewing our position to outlaw all forms of conversion therapy in the UK as soon as we possibly can.

Asked when this might be we were told, “Jesus, stop moaning about it will you, when we’re ready. We’re kinda busy helping Carrie with her new wallpaper right now.”

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