Buckingham Palace asks what colour Piers Morgan is after discovering he’s a massive baby

author avatar by 3 years ago

Buckingham Palace has enquired as to the exact skin tone of Piers Morgan after it transpired that he is a baby of enormous proportions.

The Palace asked the question shortly after Mr Morgan flounced off the set of Good Morning Britain after someone made the reasonable point that he was acting like a bit of a twat.

“Just say ‘stop’ when I hit the right one,” said Palace spokesperson, Simon Williams, as he ran his finger down the Dulux colour chart.

“I’m guessing we’re somewhere between ‘Outraged Gammon’ and ‘Stormin’ Red’, if recent events are anything to go by?

“I don’t know why my employers are suddenly so interested in the appearance of children – I mean Andrew always has been, but I haven’t directly reported to him since we had Epstein killed.

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“We were mildly shocked to learn that Piers Morgan is a baby, we always just thought he was a cunt.”

A spokesperson for Piers Morgan told us, “just because Piers Morgan literally ran away from someone who disagreed with him, doesn’t mean he isn’t a big, tough man in the tradition of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris and Steven Segal.

“He’ll be back to beat everyone up who upset him, just as soon as he’s had his morning feed and a rusk.”

NOTE: It’s been pointed out that this joke was made in the early hours of this morning on US television by Stephen Colbert. We don’t get that show in the UK, but obviously we’re very happy to correct the record and acknowledge the joke was made first on that show!