Media briefly stops calling Meghan Markle a bitch to celebrate International Women’s Day

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Meghan Markle is to get a bit of a break during International Women’s Day, for up to six minutes.

The media has been incredibly keen to paint the artist formerly known as Prince Harry’s wife as a conniving witch determined to separate Harry from his famously affectionate, caring, not-at-all-dysfunctional family, with little to no evidence.

“She’s an absolute bitch and we hate her,” grimaced Simon Williams, royal correspondent at The Sun.

“I mean look at her. She smiles wrong. She has taste in fashion which is far too expensive; I won’t hear this claptrap of her being independently wealthy before meeting Harry. She’s a gold-digging whore.

“Oh, Happy International Women’s Day, though. As always, we are keen to celebrate, protect and nurture women around the world, and we don’t just highlight the day in a tokenistic fashion that will have no bearing on our reporting of women whatsoever.

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“…how long was that, eight seconds? That’s a fair break, that’ll do the little strumpet. Where was I? I was so busy celebrating International Women’s Day that I’ve lost the thread of my misogynistic remarks.

“That’s Meghan’s fault too, you know.

“Weird how she’s never said where she as when JFK was shot isn’t it? Just saying.”