Wednesday 3 March 2021 by Pete Redfern

Apple promise next software update will fix all the issues with the ducking autocorrect


Man angry with autocorrect

Technology giant Apple has promised that all the annoyances with the ducking autocorrect will be addressed in the next update.

After years of the Apple iPhone helping changing what you actually typed to ‘ducking’, senior executives at the ducking firm have resolved to fix this, thereby allowing users to finally be able to express their true feelings, thank duck.

“Well I’ll believe it when I see it,” said one email from Apple enthusiast Simon Williams, who has purchased every ducking incarnation of the iPhone despite how many aspects of its use, in particular messaging, annoy him.

“Those motherduckers can make a phone just a few millimetres thick that is capable of incredible processing power, but somehow can’t let me write ‘ducking’ without changing it to ‘ducking’.

“Duck! They’ve done it again!”

Android user Eleanor Gay emailed to tell us, “My phone has no problem with me using expletives in messages.

“Presumably because I spend so much time swearing at how useless and clunky the Android operating system is, it just thinks expletives and blasphemy are part of my everyday conversation.”

Apple spokesperson Christopher James told us, “From now on we are going to assume that users will only ever want to use the F-word, and so we have now changed the software so that any time someone types ‘duck’, it will automatically change it to, you know, the other word.

“I can’t see this being a problem at all.”

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