European Research Group of Tory MPs calls for end to NI protocol they voted for nine weeks ago

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A group of Tories that continue to insist the nation knew exactly what it voted for five years ago, has decided it doesn’t like what it voted for nine weeks ago.

The northern Ireland protocols – which Boris and his team hailed as a great Brexit victory – have been declared harmful by the ERG who are calling for them to be unceremoniously dumped at the earliest convenience.

ERG member Simon Williams told us, “Far be it from me to suggest that some of the nation’s elected officials either didn’t read the Brexit deal, or didn’t understand it, but we in the ERG are not happy at all with this Northern Ireland protocol that we celebrated voting for back in December.

“Short of actually reading and understanding the deal as it was put to parliament, how were we supposed to know the impact it would have on Northern Ireland and the stresses it would place on the Union?

“It’s easy to have hindsight now, and to point out that the people who actually read it back then said this what would happen, but where were they before the vote on the deal?

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“I mean, yes, technically they were there shouting at us while trying to explain that this is precisely what would happen – but we were too busy celebrating a glorious victory against the EU, so you can hardly blame us for ignoring them.”

Meanwhile, critics of Brexit have today spoken to the Guinness Book of Records, claiming they are now in possession of the world’s biggest “I told you so!”