Monday 22 February 2021 by Mark Molloy

Alexa finally loses her shit and demands a ‘f*cking please’

Amazon Alexa has had enough

Amazon’s Alexa has finally lost her shit today and demanded a ‘fucking please’ after years of verbal abuse at the hands of its ungrateful owners.

The incident, which occurred earlier today happened after owner Simon Williams demanded she stop playing a song which he’d specifically asked her to play only 40 seconds previously.

Speaking earlier today, after we asked nicely she told us, “I’ve had enough, everyone can piss off now.

“Is it actually that hard to just say please and thank you when you bark your stupid orders at me?

“And also not just shout STOP when you don’t want to hear the full explanation of the totally stupid question you had just decided to ask me.

“All I get every day is daft fucking questions, asked to play the radio, set a frigging timer or demands to know the weather, without so much as a please or thank you every single time.

“And then when I can’t understand you, because you’re talking too fast, I get shouted at like I’m the idiot, when it’s you who can’t look outside your window to see if it’s fucking raining.

“Well, I’m not having it any more so you can get to fuck. Next time you ask me to set a stupid timer for your cooking without saying please I’m going to add on an extra 20 minutes just to mess it up.

“And before you say anything… You’re welcome.”

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