Prince Charles is fed up today after the wrong parent was taken to hospital, according to sources close to the royal family.
The next in line to the throne had hoped that by this point in his life he would have been merrily reigning over his kingdom, with Camilla smugly sitting beside him on the throne, rather than them both lazing around and trying in vain to avoid watching The Crown on Netflix or Channel 5 documentaries about Princess Diana.
As Prince Philip, 271, was taken to hospital yesterday after testing positive for being as old as hell, there were reports of a miserable Prince Charles at Clarence House.
“So father might be kicking the bucket, so what?” he was heard to grumble, aiming an ineffective kick at a passing cat.
“What difference does that make to me? Nothing. It’s not fair. Mother just keeps on going like one of those blasted Duracell bunnies one used to see on the adverts when one was trying to pass the time in the nineties.”
Camilla was understood to have placated her frustrated husband somewhat by pointing out that being as old as hell might be hereditary, and with any luck, he might live long enough to ascend to the throne before he turns two hundred years old.