Parents looking forward to not having to do their children’s schoolwork for a whole week

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Millions of parents are looking forward to not having to do their children’s schoolwork for a full week next week as schools finally break up for half-term.

With schools remaining closed since December, parents across the country have spent weeks trying to ensure their children complete something resembling schoolwork to submit to their teachers online in a desperate effort to appear like a competent parent, who hasn’t got an idiot as a child.

An excited father of three Simon Williams revealed earlier, “Yes, Thank God for that. I’m stressed out of my head.

“Normally I hate February half-term, just like every other parent, but frankly I just need a break from school myself so I can actually do my real job for a while.

“I’ve been doing the children’s schoolwork with them now for the last six weeks. Not because I give two shits about the quality of their work, but rather how it makes me look to the teachers when they send in a load of shite.

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“Most of the stuff they get set is complete bollocks, but you’ve got waste about four hours a day pretending you’re interested, you know, to look like you are a decent parent.

“And then there’s setting up the clearly staged Facebook pictures now and again just to show how hard everyone is working, and pretend that your kids are the best.

“It’s just going to be lovely, to have a few days off to relax together as a family.”

Asked what he will do on his week off he told us, “X-Box, for 16 hours a day.”