Friday 5 February 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘We need time to prepare for quarantine hotels’ says government that had 12 months to prepare for quarantine hotels

quarantine hotels

The government has today advised the reason for a hotel quarantine not coming into force for another ten days, is that they ‘need more time to prepare’ than the twelve months they have previously had to actually sort this issue out.

With news emerging today that mandatory hotel quarantine will not come into force in England until February 15th, senior government ministers have defended the delay stating that a few more days will be required to put the process into place, on top of the many many weeks already spent pissing about doing absolutely nothing.

A spokesperson for the government advised, “Guys chill out will you? We can’t rush these things, it takes time.

“Listen, we’ve only known about this coronavirus thingy for about a year, give us a chance to have a little think will you, it’s not as if people are dying every day as a result of our ongoing ineptitude.

“Of course it makes sense to close the borders now, to stop new cases coming in, but it also made sense not to send infected patients into care homes didn’t it? So that’s not how we work?

“What we are going to do, is wait and wait, until as many cases as possible of the new imported variants get into the country before finally closing the borders when it’s far too late to make any difference whatsoever, again.

“That way, we can watch things go to shit again, just when everyone is getting hopeful that it is finally coming to an end”

“It’s a tried and tested process, and we kind of like it. Simple.”

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