Tuesday 26 January 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Small piece of dogshit to play Boris Johnson in upcoming Covid miniseries


Dogshit to play Boris

Michael Winterbottom has announced that he will be making This Sceptered Isle, a miniseries documenting the early stages of the coronavirus outbreak in Britain and that he has cast a small piece of dogshit in the lead role of Boris Johnson.

“The piece of dogshit is incredible,” said the director.

“He really gets under the skin of the Prime Minister. You look at the dogshit working and you forget that it’s a small piece of dogshit and just believe that it’s Boris Johnson, it’s an incredible performance.”

Winterbottom explained how the dogshit came to get the role.

“I’ll be honest, I was starting to despair. We’d seen some of the best actors in the country – Michael Sheen, Kenneth Brannagh, Ant and/or Dec, the guy under those weird prosthetics who plays Michael Gove.

“None of them were suitable. So, I went out for a walk and was in Regents Park, just lost in thought,  when I stood in some dogshit. I looked down at the mess of faeces on my shoe and thought ‘my god, it’s Boris Johnson’.

“I hired it on the spot.”

However, whilst the casting appears to be a triumph. The small piece of dogshit does have some concerns.

“I just hope that people can separate me from the role,” it said.

“I mean, I’m a small piece of smelly dogshit. But I’ve got some self-respect, I’d hate people to think I was anything like the Prime Minister.”

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt here!

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