Thursday 21 January 2021

Secret Service detail yet to notice any difference as Donald Trump spends day on golf course


Trump day at the golf course

Despite him no longer being President, Donald Trump’s secret service detail have yet to notice any changes to the former President’s routine after he spent the day on the golf course.

Chuck Williams, an unnamed member of the secret service detail assigned for the former president, told us, “The last four years have mostly been spent driving around golf courses in black suits and sunglasses, and today is no different.

“Trump is still playing golf, he’s still cheating against whoever he plays, and he’s still telling everyone the election was stolen from him.

“I suppose one main difference is that Melania isn’t even pretending to like him any more.  Oh, and the nuclear football is finally out of his reach – but apart from that, it’s exactly the same as every day for the last four years.”

Meanwhile, Trump has also popped in his office at Mar a Lago to a large pile of mail, the contents of which could be neatly summarised as “So, about that money you owe us.”

Though Eric and Don Jnr remain outside on the lawn, each with an unused baseball glove, hoping that their father will now finally have time to play with them.

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