Donald Trump has turned up on the last day of his term ready to spend the day playing games and maybe even watching a video or two if the grown-ups in charge let him.
As is customary on the last day of any term, it is an unwritten rule that ten-year-old boys and septuagenarian man-children with the mental age of a ten-year-old can bring in toys, and today is no different.
“Hey, check out my Action Man!” yelled a delighted Donald Trump to an aide, who was visibly looking at his watch and counting the minutes until Joe Biden arrives.
“This little guy is a rugged, tough, smart hero, just like me – I call him ‘Donald Trump Jr’, which my actual son took as a compliment as they are of similar intelligence.
“Ooh, can we watch some wrestling later? And can I have a Happy Meal for lunch? Pleeease?”
White House permanent staff member, Chuck Williams, told us, “Man, just twenty-four hours to go, and Joe can’t arrive soon enough if you ask me.
“We’re letting Trump play with whatever toys he wants today, and he can watch as much TV as he likes, too.
“Given that he’s done barely any work at all since losing the election, this is actually more of a break for us than it is for him – I was worried we’d be spending the day trying to prevent him from nuking the Capitol building.”
According to other White House staff, Melania is spending the last day of her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s term as she has spent every day over the last four years; in her bedroom with her own collection of toys.