Monday 18 January 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Downing Street scent of shellfish temporarily masks scent of bullshit


Downing Street smells of fish

Downing Street has temporarily switched agriculture for fisheries this afternoon.

The discovery comes as several shellfish lorries parked up near Downing Street to protest the government’s handling of Brexit, which has led to many such lorries being stranded in Kent.

“Usually you can’t move for the stench of bullshit around here,” confirmed journalist, Hayley Rice.

“It’s not AS bad as when Dominic Cummings was about, but the overwhelming whiff of bullshit is still generally prominent, particularly around Number Ten. So the shellfish is a welcome change.”

“Fresh seafood is definitely a nice change from manure,” said Downing Street administrator, Simon Williams.

“I would say I’d like it to stay this way, but I know that fish rots… does rotting fish stink worse than Conservative government policy?

“That’s probably one for the philosophers.

“Anyway good luck to the lorry drivers, I don’t know why the PM has ordered so much shellfish, but at this point I’ve given up trying to work out how his mind works.”

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